I think this needs...
I don't really know why, but I'm feeling a green teddy bear. You don't even have to like animate it or anything, just have it wiggle around and stuff. Yeah, then it'll be ace.
Really great colors and backgrounds. Very fun and loose. Also...Mr. Bungle! Nice music choice.
Where this really lacks is in the design and animation of the characters. The designs seem to be more style than substance. They are flat, geometric, uniform lines, etc, that is not at all well suited for animation. I had to watch this a couple of times to really know what was happening/what the characters looked like. Basically you need to make descriptive silhouettes with alot of negative space. Right now you have everything in tight forms that is not easily understandable.
The character animation is decent, but not nearly as good as your color/bgs. Just not alot of the principles or descriptive posing.
I'm being so tough on you because you've got talent and drive. This is a great piece of work any way you look at it. It's getting favorited. I just don't really see a strong foundation on which this was built. I'd recommend John K's blog (http://johnkstuff.blogspot.com/) for learning classical animation techniques/principles. Keep up the great work.
Well made, but lacks focus
I really like how you have so many different types of animation and characters on the screen at once. Its definitely compelling how each character has his own origin. The animation is also pretty good especially with a nice sense of weight in the inkmans birth. The art is alright, I didn't really like the paper man, just seemed really bland and a forced style, but the rest was good.
My criticism is that this lacks focus at all. As an experimental piece its cool, but thats it really. With a little more effort you could have a much more lasting movie. Its still fun to watch and creative, just maybe could be better (but what can't).
Anyway, great job, can't wait to see what you'll be doing next.
Very nice work here. There is obviously skill underlying this "badly drawn dog" and I like that you're experimenting with story here. Keeping the same actions (woof woof woof, chew), its real fun seeing this dog abused in different ways while keeping the story the same.
I gotta' say though that I didn't really like the first series, this is much better. I think you've got one more series out of this (then I'd move on).
Really outstanding work here. Especially such involved lip syncing, very impressive. Really pushing Flash to its limits.
I must say, however, this is too filmic. You're not really taking advantage of the medium. While this is cool, ultimately you're trying to animate a film rather than actually animate. I mean, as it is this would make an awesome film (with all your cinematic shots and such), but its not, its an animation.
I'm not trying to be too harsh here, but it seems like you went a very roundabout way to make a film. I'd encourage you to try and take advantage of the medium rather than to try to emulate film.
Either way you succeeded, bravo and all, my point is, I guess, that to make it more animated would take less work and come out better.
Well made, art and animation was good, but ugh.
I've seen this concept before (the increase in time) and his suicide is very predictable. The actual movie is very annoying and not interesting in the least not to mention its length, the only reason I watched it all was because I'm a fan of your previous work.
Its cool that you want to say something through your animation, that is a very noble goal. But make it entertaining first, something you're very good at, give people a reason to watch it even if they don't care for your message. Subtly slip the message in the entertainment.
Otherwise you just come off as pretentious. (not an insult, we all have done it).
Still a fan.
Great animation, great concepts, great everything. Wow. I'm very impressed. I too make cartoons for special occasions (holidays, birthdays, etc) and I WISH I could be like you. Wow.
The only constructive criticism I can find is perhaps you could have had better character designs. Just push the caricature and all, you know, make your special lady a goddess and exaggerate your characteristics. Or whatever. But really the character designs don't get in the way. The movement is just way too compelling.
I mean, god, now I want to marry you!
Oh and CONGRATS!!!
To Angela: If I were a woman (or gay) I'd totally try and steal this guy from you. You lucky gal you.
On the right track, but not worth watching 2/5
You've got some nice shorts, but they are not worth submitting like this.
The directing and concepts are decent, nothing great, but not bad. They seem not like stand alone shorts, but practices that you did to work on your timing. They also did not fit together at all, in theme, pacing, etc. Not a unified piece at all.
The art, obviously, is great. You've got a real nice cartooning style that feels classic but also modern. Like a mix of Merry Melodies, Luis, and Joe Cartoon.
The animation, on the other hand, is pretty primitive. There is little understanding of weight, timing, or the principals of animation. Not too sound to harsh, of course, but it can use alot of work. I recommend the Animators Survival Kit (buy it, don't just take it out from a library), and if you own it already, take your time and read through it and have it as reference while you're animating. Basically my criticism is that you just draw every frame as it would look in reality, you don't squash and stretch or break characters. You don't cushion movement (move your finger forward, see if you just instantly stop and don't pull back), etc.
I really, REALLY, want to see a well thought out piece from you, not something just slapped together. A real cartoon, not a series of unrelated and disjointed practices. I also see so much potential in your animation, you've got a great sense of how things look in 3D space, now just make 'em move with character.
Well I've read most of the book, Animators Survival Kit, but due the fact I was just practicing, I didn't want to make every single frame; therefore animated at 16fps, so squashing images and stretch would look far too exaggerated. Anyhow, I did this for fun :| and don't you people overuse the finger example from Mr. Williams XD
Impressive graphics, dissapointing execution
I found this piece to be very lacking. I saw no connection with the nuclear holocaust, both that the story was not told and that it did not feel right. The lack of animation made it very wooden and emotionless. Many of the shots were weak being either to literal with the lyrics, to cryptic, or too plain. I felt nothing for this.
That said, the graphics were great. Was the man a 3D model? I don't think that the graphics make up for the lack of any animation, however, especially when you have long close ups on the man's face (and change his position once in a while).
Interesting concept, flawed execution.
First off, I'd like to say that that is very impressive for just 2 weeks. Either you can produce incredibly quickly or you worked almost non stop. Either way, good job, dedication/skill like that will be rewarding. Also, let it be known I'm critiquing this very harshly but honestly. You obviously have the dedication and maturity to take it (I believe). The following may come off hostile over the internet, but be aware it is with nothing but friendliness and artistic support.
Now to the actual animation, I think that some of the concepts in this were very interesting, but the execution and specifics were not nearly as strong.
The art, while fully colored and competently drawn, was disappointing. I really hate seeing such sterotypical anime. Also, some of the color palate was a bit weak. Specifically, I believe for such a grim story, the palate should not be so bright and varied. Seemingly, the majority of the color choices was not all that thought out (understandable for a 2 week production).
The animation was good, once again, especially for a 2 week production. Not much to say, I think you understand that, given more time, you could have polished it / planned it a bit more. No real criticism as it does not get in the way of the short but doesn't make it particularly captivating either.
The music was nice, perhaps a song with more violin would have worked better. I can't really comment though, its a music video basically, so its all dependent on your vision. The vioce acting was fine, once again, nothing that felt wrong, but nothing amazing.
As to the actual direction and story, I believe you have much potential but falter. The idea of animating a violinist is pretty brilliant I must say. Very original and cool. I haven't seen much musician animation, let alone violin. The theme is also simple and appropiate, 'tis good. The execution, however, is very cheesy. The soldier punching the picture, "I'm drawing a tornado, look closer" -strangle, the whole action sequence through the prison, the romancing, etc. were pretty weak and just goofy. It was too random (why is a violinist able to decimate the soliders, who is the random gun toting chick, etc.) and did not advance the theme or make compelling watching. Alot doesn't make sence either, for example, if art is banned, why do they give him chalk to draw? Or why does he stay and taunt the army of soliders? Lastly, some strings glued to ones arm is not enough for a violin as it needs the hollow body (I understand the symbolic reasons, but it was too out there). Personally, I believe you should have had a darker prison scene and stylized playing. Don't just fall back on cliche action but make the violin playing itself interesting and full of movement/action.
Anyway, good job. Could be better, but not bad. Keep on working.
newgrounds.com — Your #1 online entertainment & artist community! All your base are belong to us.